


I was an island

by Idontreallyknowanymore



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: First Kiss (eventually), Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Mind Meld, Pidge and Keith are bros, based on an animatic by say dada, klance, my faves, okay enough tags im posting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 01:04:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15897738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idontreallyknowanymore/pseuds/Idontreallyknowanymore
Summary: He was wearing his baggy blue hoody, his chocolate hair was scrumpled and sticking up in different directions and tears were streaming down his face. He sort of looked like he was laughing in slow motion to Keith, for he could absorb every tiny detail. The care free way Lance threw his head back, his nose crinkling and how it squished all the freckles sprinkled over it together, and the way his laugh was bursting with genuine happiness. Keith was a little bit in love.





	1. Chapter 1

The adrenalin pumped through keith’s veins like icy water, sending shivers down his spine and shocking him into a state of high alert. Just the possibility of seeing Shiro again made Keith ache with longing and tears pricked at his eyes, trying to escape. He blinked them away. He could not get distracted, He couldn’t mess this up. Keith wouldn’t last much longer alone, and there was no way he was going back to the garrison. he waited, perched on his bike, until the explosion. It felt like an eternity, though when he looked at his watch, only two minutes had passed. At exactly 12:00 am the bomb went off. It sounded so much like thunder on earth, it almost made him miss it, though he hated all those nights after his dad’s funeral when it stopped him escaping to the nothingness of sleep. It made the ground tremble, the sand seemed to swirl around even him chaotically; like all the grains were trying to evacuate in a mad scramble. ‘please, let him be okay, please, please, please’ he muttered under his breath, though the winds howling masked any sound he made. 

Keith twisted the handle and sped down the hill so quickly, that his worries of being detected seemed silly now. He had planned this all so carefully, it was so unlike him, but usually it was only Keith at risk. He couldn’t just recklessly march in without a plan, full of anger and think that it would be enough to save Shiro. Keith couldn’t do that to him. There was too much at stake. he leapt off, making sure there was nobody around that could raise the alarm. He sneaked past someone in front of the doorway, I supposed the were meant to be a guard, but they just stared blankly down at their tablet, probably trying to find out what the explosion meant. He spotted a small badge spelling ‘Aaron’ on top of the guards jacket. The guard- well Aaron, if Keith was probably going to have to beat him up he might as well use his proper name- turned around just as Keith was walking through, nearly in the clear. Their eyes met, both widening simultaneously. Aaron reached for his gun, but Keith was already punching him in the chest. He doubled over in pain, and Keith kicked his leg in an arc, hitting his head and knocking him winded to the ground with a startled ‘AGGGHH’. It wasn’t loud enough to alert anyone, but Keith set me on edge. 

Once Keith was sure he was unconscious, he ran speedily to an electric door, and put in the code He’d seen someone use it to gain access before. He had spotted it soon after he’d first seen something suspicious going on. It slid open to reveal a small grey room, with black bars criss-crossing up the walls. A small metal table sat in the middle, with a group of people clustered around it in orange rubber suits, wearing black masks. One of them turned to grab something of a shelf, and he saw a mess of black and white fluffy hair. Shiro. Keith’s eyes narrowed, as hate burned through him. He charged, punching the first person to stupidly run at him to the side, causing them to crash into a row of trolleys holding equipment. They weren’t fighters, they were scientists, so there wasn’t much of a competition. He punched and kicked with all the strength he could muster, until one by one they fell to the floor. Keith ran to Shiro’s side, and checked his pulse by putting my fingers to his neck. He groaned in pain, but he was alive, that was all that mattered. Keith cut the rope ties holding him down with his knife, moving it back and forwards rapidly until it frayed, then with one final cut it snapped in half. Dragging him onto his feet, concern made Keith’s stomach churn, but Shiro was going to be okay now. They just had to get out of here. 

“Nope. No, you-- No, no, no. No, you don’t. I’m saving Shiro” someone said from the doorway.  


It was Lance Mclain, followed by a small boy Keith had never seen before and Hunk. Lance had been in his class at the garrison, and he’d always had a bit of a crush on him, before his thoughts were constanly filled with trying to find Shiro that was. He had gorgeous brown skin, and sparkling eyes, that made Keith want to see the ocean for the first time just to compare the two deep blues. Lance was glaring at him, like he didn’t even remember who he was. He swallowed awkwardly before making his expression blank.  
“Who are you?” He barked out.

 

“Who am I? Uh, the name’s Lance.” he drawled, blinking at him like he was stupid. Keith just shrugged his shoulders.  
”we were in the same class at the garrison.” Lance said it like it was a question, his voice trailing off at the end.  


“Really? Are you an engineer?” Keith was pretty sure he was completely unconvincing, but Lance took the bait.  


“No, a pilot. We were like rivals, ya know Lance and Keith kneck and kneck?” he sounded offended.  


Keith sighed, knowing Lance wasn’t going to let this go.  


“Oh wait, I remember you. You’re a cargo pilot” He almost winced saying it, but his mask didn’t falter. 

Iverson always used to berate Lance for failing the simulations, sure he had real talent when actually flying, but none of that seemed to matter; only passing tests to make the school look good did. He didn’t have enough social skills to deal with this right now, and they needed to go before the reinforcements that had almost definitely been called got back; after all the explosions could only distract them for so long. Hurt crept onto lance’s face before being replaced with a scowl.  


“well not any more, I’m in fighter class thanks to you washing out.”  


“Congratulations!” Keith said dryly.

They hobbled out of the door, weighed down by Shiro’s barely conscious, very muscular and very heavy body. Hunk and the small boy with wild hair and round glasses (Pidge, Keith would later find out was his name) ran ahead ducking behind some supply crates. In the horizon, fire lit up the sky, like the planet was just some big bonfire waiting to burn. It glowed red and orange and Keith hadn’t seen anything as breathtaking in a long time, (bar Lance, his mind supplied unhelpfully). The awkwardness was thick and heavy and he was almost glad when Hunk yelled “They’re coming back and they do not look happy!”. At least it got rid of the strained silence between them. Hunk was looking through a pair of pocket sized binoculars, and growing increasingly petrified. A few seconds later Keith could just about make out tiny specs of people marching towards them, their black silhouettes contrasting with the fiery background. Oh god.  


“We’ve got to go!” Hunk squeaked, obviously scared. 

They hobbled over to my bike, lifting Shiro up on the back. Keith made sure he was secure before leaping on the front and starting up the engine. They slowly rose, levitating a metre off of the cracked stone. He revved the engine, then turned it all the way around to full speed, and they jolted forward with a start.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the first chapter was OC, It's flowing better now so please give it a chance! I think it's going to improve as i go on. Anyways, Bye! Enjoy! Please comment or like so Ik it's not trash.

Tethys was surrounded by the darkened abyss of space, until, it wasn’t. Burning embers crept across the blackness of the sky, contrasting like the wavering reflection of moonlight on a lake. Keith was watching intently out of one of the space ship’s many windows. They had come to an arrangment with the remaining Tetharians who still lived on the planet, to try and wipe out as many Galra ships as possible. Now that the explosives had gone off, they were just waiting for the Galra to make their appearance, then the castle’s defense weapons (with the help of Coran) would take them out. Keith, of course, hated the plan. He hated waiting. He hated the feeling that he was totally and utterly out of control, that he couldn’t protect himself properly if something were to go wrong. Red was all the way in the hangar after all. Restlessness seeped through him, building up like a dam about to burst. He paced backwards and forwards, his hands on his head, until he was interrupted by Pidge, knocking on the door to get his attention.  


“Keith, my dude, seriously you need to chill out.” her eyes glistened with amusement.  


“I’m trying, believe it or not it’s a lot easier said than done.” he said dryly.  


“Oooooh, the sass is strong with this one today.” She snorted, rolling her eyes. 

“Come on, Allura wants to talk through the plan, again.” Keith groaned. 

“Because going over it a million times is definitely going to make it work.”

“Apparently so.” They walked slowly in the direction of the bridge, taking as long as they could without annoying Allura. 

“So, what’s going on with you and Lance?” She smirked, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.  


“Umm what do you mean I have no idea what you are talking about.” He spluttered out. His cheeks were flushed and he awkwardly rubbed his neck, all the while avoiding as much eye contact as possible. 

“Yeah, of coooouuurrse you don’t.”  


“Nope. No idea, nothing’s going on.”  


“Do you want to know what I think is going on?”  


“No, not really.” Keith sighed. He quickened his pace, wanting to be done with this conversation already. 

“I have deduced from your poor little longing stares, and your obviously flustered state when you’re around him, that you Keith Kogane, have a big, fat cru-” 

“No I don’t. Nice talking to you, bye.” he said as he sprinted ahead.  


“Hey! asshole! I have shorter legs than you!"  


“Gremlin.” he yelled, briefly turning round to stick out his tongue.

He ran onto the bridge, panting, followed by Pidge, interrupting Allura in her speech.  


“Where were you guys?” Hunk asked.  


“I was just getting Keith.” Everyone then turned their gaze to Keith. He shrugged, uncomfortable in the spotlight. 

“Great so now we’ve got to listen to it all over again. Thanks a lot Keith.” Lance glared.  


“Paladins! You need to be focused on the mission. We have no time for your squabbling.” Allura commanded. 

“Yes princess.” Lance paused before continuing “Hey are you from outer space?”  


“Er yes Lance? Shouldn’t you know this by now?” She asked confusedley.  


“Because you’re out of this world!” He said, accompanied with finger guns. 

Allura, just scowled at him before trying to move on. Keith felt a surge of irritation and annoyance and disappointment all blurred together in once messy stream but tried to ignore it swirling uncomfortably inside him. He attempted to turn his attention back to Allura as she started to continue.

“So as we know, the people of Tethyrs have been moved to the safe house. The castle is in cloaking mode thanks to Pidge, the bomb has succesfully gone off. The Galra shou-”  


“Are you an explosive? Cause your blowing my mind!” Lance sniggered, making finger guns again. 

The pressure in Keith’s chest grew and grew until he could no longer stand it. It was like a damn bursting and crumbling to pieces inside of him.  


“LANCE! We don’t have time for this. The tethyarians are at risk, If this doesn’t go to plan people could die!” He snarled.  


“I know that Keith. Anyway you can’t talk, we had to wait ages for you! Don’t you care about them?” he replied, jabbing his finger smugly in Keith’s face.  


“Seriously just shut up Lan-”  


“Enough! Both of you be quiet! We don’t have time to waste.” Shiro bellowed.  


“Yes Shiro.” Lance muttered. Keith just stared sheepishly at the ground, his stomach suddenly felt surprisingly empty, with just a film of nausea at the bottom. 

Allura finally explained the plan again, but Keith couldn’t focus. Lately his mind seemed to be on everything it shouldn’t be. It didn’t matter though, at least not this time. He had already memorised it the first time. The group dispersed, ready to carry out their tasks, until only him and Pidge were left. 

“Jealous, much?” She snorted, wiggling her eyebrows up and down suggestively once more, before scurrying out of the room. 

“It’s not my fault he’s a total douche!” he called after her.  


“Awwww you’re so gone, aren’t you? You can just tell. You’re adorable!” His cheeks flushed furiously, until it almost looked like he had decided to squish raspberry juice all over them.  


“Seriously please stop, I can’t cope!” He walked over to one of the chairs, sat down, and promptly started banging his head on the backrest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mind melds are my favourite fics!!  
> so basically they all go through divergent simulations but only one person is in it at a time, the rest just view it.  
> (Keith is the first and only to go in)
> 
> hope that makes sense
> 
> TW: Keith has abandoment issues because his mum left and his dad died so idk if either of those are a trigger but I'll just pop it here incase.

Keith hated these group training sessions. He preferred to train alone, with the bots, and he worked well by himself. He really did. Each day he worked and worked until his bones ached and a thick blanket of drowsiness extinguished all of his remaining energy. He improved, continuing a fraction of a second longer than the last attempt in his never ending fight against the training bots. Pushing his highscore up and up and up. He pressured himself to train much more than any of the other paladins, except maybe Shiro. He felt the pressure weigh him down most heavily after missions. When he rescued some innocent civilians, just by the skin of his teeth; knowing that next time he might not be fast enough. Or when one of his team mates got injured, he always blamed himself, if he had just taken them down quicker then it would of never even happened. So he trained until his fists bled and his knife’s edge was dull. It still didn’t satisfy him though.  


Lance hated the sessions too. That was one thing they had in common. They’d actually recently kind of bonded over their shared hatred of them, until, that wasn’t all they were talking about. Their conversations slowly changed from mission related to their own interests and normal everyday non-space related things.  
Keith confidently (well as confidently as a socially anxious person can get) told him about his favourite bands, not expecting Lance’s immediate uproar of laughter. He was wearing his baggy blue hoody, his chocolate hair was scrumpled and sticking up in different directions and tears were streaming down his face. He sort of looked like he was laughing in slow motion to Keith, for he could absorb every tiny detail. The care free way Lance threw his head back, his nose crinkling and how it squished all the freckles sprinkled over it together, and the way his laugh was bursting with genuine happiness. Keith was a little bit in love. 

He was torn away from his observations, blushing as Lance yelled, incoherent through his laughter.  
“Oh my gosh. Keith!” he screeched. “How did I not know!" 

“W-what? what’s wrong?” Keith had questioned, blushing profusely now, had he done something wrong? 

“It’s so obvious! You’re such an Emo!” 

“No I’m not!” he snapped defensively. 

“Dude, your favourite band is MCR, you’re a ‘loner’.” He did quotation marks. “You always wear black.” He gasped.  


“I bet you went through a goth phase! No wait, you’re still in it!” Keith didn’t respond, just knitted his eyebrows and looked down. When he looked up, Lance was smiling so brightly he couldn’t help but chuckle too. Lance leaned in, like he was about to tell an unspeakable secret.  


“I’ve never told anyone this, not even hunk, but I kind of had a goth phase too. Only when I was twelve and it didn’t last that long, but still, if you tell anyone I will come for you! you have been warned.”  


“Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed.”  


“Yep, I was more of a twenty one pilots and edgy eyeliner kind of guy though.”  


It was easy with Lance, the conversation always flowed, bickering or not. Keith felt almost normal around him. The strange thing was; they didn’t even argue that much any more, not with any malice behind it anyway. Maybe Lance was finally giving up on this godforsaken rivalry.  


“Hello? Keith? Earth to Keith?” Shiro called.  


Keith felt himself slipping and slipping away, the memory swirling away into nothingness until he was cast back into his unfortunate reality. The group was gathered around in a spreadout, lopsided circle all in lazy conversation with each other, though all waiting for him.  


“What?” he grumbled.  


“You look like you’re a million miles away, you okay?”  


“Well, to be fair, I kind of am. From earth I mean.” he snorted, unbelieving of the fact that Shiro could miss the irony.  


“Okay you got me, now come and join us, we’re about to start.” 

“Sure.” Although he was reluctant, Keith sat down, wanting this to just be over with. Allura then began to speak.  


“Paladins, Coran and I have been working on tracing down a machine called an Interritus. On Altea there wasn’t a set religon. It was much more complicated than that. The ancient Alteans would travel the universe to find their true faith, or realise that they simply didn’t have one. Our Laws were built on the foundations of thousands of beliefs, all merged to create the most balanced rules and morals that we were guided by. One reoccurring phrase, throughout most of the religons, held in the most high regard was Sine Limitibus.” 

Her face gained a melancholy expression, but she looked almost peaceful despite her sadness, remembering her almost life.  


“What does it mean? I think I recognise it from some of the files I’ve been looking at.” Pidge asked, her forehead wrinkled, concentrated and trying to remember. 

“Translated it means ‘without fear, without limits.’ There was the strong belief that once all of your fears are no longer unknown, that you can admit them to yourself, only then will you be free of any limitations.” 

“Woah, that sounds pretty badass.” Lance remarked. 

“Yes, it is. That’s why we are going to being doing this exercise today, it will strengthen your bonds with eachother. To have trust and to be vunerable are two of the bravest things you can do.” 

“Uhhhh...what exercise? I hate this already.” Hunk said whilst grimacing, like he really didn’t want to know the answer. 

“The machine, the interritus, is like the mind meld; everyone can see each others thoughts, but in this case the thoughts are refined down to the user’s fears.” Coran answered for her. 

Everyone groaned in unison, slumping their head’s down towards the floor, effectively looking like toddlers being told they needed to go to bed.  


“Wow guys this is sure going to be fun! Not!” Lance muttered with fake enthusiasm, rolling his eyes so hard it made his head hurt.  
\------------------------  


A while later, once (almost) everyone had stopped complaining, a small dainty machine was placed in front of them by Coran. It was baby pink, contrasting with spiralling black cables sprouting from its base. There were five helmets, spray painted the colour of it’s respective paladin. They cautiously put them on, all with varying degrees of annoyance written across their faces.  


“Alright Paladins, it will choose you in a random order and once a fear has started it cannot be stopped, to force your way out will damage you as well as the machine. So uh..don’t.”  


“Okay, then I guess we should get this over with?” Lance said, whilst wincing, like he really didn’t want to start at all.  


There was no answer from Coran, only the monotonous whirring of the machine.  


“Remember Paladins, without fear without limits.” Allura spoke proudly, and it was the last thing they heard before their ears rung and the world before them fizzled out into patchy darkness.  


Keith felt like ice water had been poured all over his brain. It wriggled under his skin, but he was sweating despite it. He was so tired, his body felt like weights had been welded into his joints, like there was too much gravity.  


Then he was tumbling and tumbling, waves of nausea creeping up- and then quietly, quickly, stillness. Then he was back in his old room at the Garrison. Everything else felt fuzzy, blurred and out of focus. Just thinking about anything over than the now made him dizzy. He looked down and was clothed in a familiar orange uniform. Shiro appeared in the doorway. His hair was raven black. Something about that made him feel peculiar, but he didn’t know why.  


“Listen, Keith. I’m going on a very important mission soon. I’ll be gone for a while, but the garrison will look after you if any thing happens to me so don’t worry.” Shiro’s forehead was creased and his eyes were filled with a thousand different apologies left unspoken.  


“You’re leaving?” Keith whispered. 

Shiro just did a quick nod and then guiltily stared at the smooth cement floor. The nausea returned to his stomach and intensified until his insides felt like they were coated in sickly sweet powdered sugar. He knew this would happen. He knew what pain it would cause him if he got to close and yet he still did. Molten lava replaced his blood and his wounded expression twisted into a glare.  


“They always leave. I told you! I told you! This is what happens.”  


“Keith-” Shiro started,  


“GET OUT!” he looked taken aback for a second by his own ferociousness. Then he wiped his palms on his trousers and continued, more calmly this time.  


“Get out. Go.”  


And shiro did, without once looking back. Keith had no one left. No one.  


His reality faded and rippled, slowly morphing into different surroundings. His dad’s grave. He was dressed in funeral clothes. He turned around and saw a run down church. Its bricks were cracked and brittle, crumbling down. Keith was oddly reminded of what felt like so long ago, cooking with his dad, mixing the butter into the flour and sugar, the way he would sift it through his fingers. At one of the dusty old windows, a figure stood watching him. Tears traced paths on his face and his eyes stung. He was alone. His dad was dead. He couldn’t even remember his mum.  


No one was here for him. No one would pick him up from school and ruffle their fingers through his hair. No one would cook him his favourite food when he was sad or wash his clothes until they smelled like peppermint or laugh at his favourite tv shows with him.  
No one would be there for him, no one to wrap his arms around until he felt safe and make the whole world would fade away. No one. He felt like running, the tears kept flowing and he wanted to feel the familiar burn in his throat but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.  


“Sorry for your loss, boy. Who’s lookin after you now?” He turned round to see an old withered man, his face is kind and his grey eyes are peircing, surrounded in deep wrinkles from smiling too much.  


“Nobody.” The word was strangled and torn and full of sadness. And then he ran.  


The world disappeared before his feet and again he was tumbling into darkness. This isn't real. This isn’t real. He pushed everything away in his mind, daring the unknown to come any closer. A monotonous hum flooded his ears until he’s sure they were bleeding. And then, a blinding light.  


Keith ripped the helmet off and threw it like it burned, and raced away from everybody’s open mouthed expressions.

\---------------------------------------------  


Lance walked silently into the training room. Even if he did make a noise, it wouldn’t have mattered. Keith was too busy madly swooping and slicing the training bots to shreds to notice. The room was in chaos after keith stormed out, but Lance didn’t care. He just stared after keith for a long time with a knot twisting in his chest until Coran started widly shouting about his beautiful machine, which lied in burnt, smoky ruins on the floor. Lance stood awkwardly for a minute, just observing. He noticed with awe (and a stub of jealousy) not for the first time at how skilled Keith was. And also not for the first time, how beautiful he was.  
His hair clung to his forehead, and when he lifted his arms high above his head, he could see the delicate curves of his shoulder blades, before he brought the sword down hard on a fallen bot, and sliced it clean in two.  
He also noticed his red rimmed eyes, and the slient tears rolling off his cheek.  


“Keith!” Lance called. Keith ignored him. He tried again. And again. Knowing how stubborn Keith was, Lance knew he wasn’t going to acknowledge him. So he did the most stupid and Lance like thing he could do and dived infront of keith, pulling his bayard off his belt and forming his sword just in time to block Keith’s blade from touching his caramel skin. Keith lowered his sword.  


“Lance that was the most idiotic-” he growled.  


“Keith! Shut. up.” Keith just looked at him. He was still crying but he was yet to release a sob, and it unnerved Lance because he knew you had to practice at not making a sound; when the rest of world is alsleep as your pillow gets soaked with tears. He knew. His violet eyes were so big as he stared hesitantly at Lance.  


“I just wanted to say, that I know that must have been pretty rough but-”  


“Lance. It’s fine. I’m okay.” Keith panted, out of breath from training.  


“Bullshit. But that’s okay Keith. it's okay.” Lance gave him a soft smile. “As I was saying before someone,” He gave Keith a pointed look. “Interrupted me, but you won’t ever be alone.”  


Keith scoffed.  


“No, no honest. I can’t speak for anyone else, but you’ll have me bugging you until the end of time. I promise buddy. I’ll stay.” Lance’s eyes were full of something warm and kind and Keith wanted so much to believe. He sighed. He looked so tired.  


“Lance, you don’t even like me, what-” Lance just stepped forward and wrapped Keith in a warm hug. He stiffened for a moment, before slowly melting into Lance’s embrace.  


“Lance what are-” he mumbled into his chest before Lance cut him off with a stern shhing.  


“I’ll stay.” he repeated firmly.  


Keith felt warm and safe and he felt love. So much love for Lance and from that moment it only grew and grew.


End file.
